Anonymous Q&A
December 05, 2011 | Posted in Dating/Sex
I have a huge crush on this guy, and I have invited him to my youth group, but I really dont know if he likes me back. What should I do?
Having a “crush” on a guy/girl is sometimes hard to navigate because you are describing having a rush of emotions for this person which is hard to keep in perspective. Emotions and feelings are not always what they seem and can over shadow the truth.
The best advice or tips I can give when dealing with a crush is remember that it is a “crush”.
The Urban Dictionary describes a crush like this:
1- A burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
“My heart broke when I found out my crush was seeing another person.”
2 - The act of falling hard for someone even though it isn't love yet
A. a precursor to love
B. an amazing thing that gives you feelings of nerves and excitement whenever you see them
“Before we went out, I had a crush on him for almost a year! “
“I can't concentrate in that class. My crush is too powerful.”
A crush can move from just observing this guy to having a relationship (friends, best friends, dating etc) with him. Relationships have to start somewhere and it seems you have already taken the first step by inviting him to your youth group. I am assuming the question you are asking is “How do I know he likes me?” Well, without knowing the full picture of how you met and what led to you asking him to youth group, my advice would be the following:
Time will tell. Continue down the path of getting to know him by the opportunities that present themselves. Becoming friends is one of the best ways to see if you are a good fit with someone to date and if this person truly cares for you and enjoys being with you.
Example: hanging out at youth group, seeing each other at school, chatting on facebook ect.
Relationships should go both ways. You asked him to youth group, but has he asked you to go somewhere back? If he has not, this could be a good indicator he in “not into you” or he is not interested in the type of relationship you are seeking. Look for indicators like, asking you to hangout, seeking you out at a party, showing up to your game, etc. If a guy is into you, he will make a move; if he doesn’t, then there is your answer (or he doesn’t want to date anyone at this moment).
Ask him. When the moment presents itself, ask him if he would be interested in hanging out again. Tell him you think he is a great guy and you would like to get to know him better. Now, you may be thinking there is NO WAY you can ask him that. If that it so, it may be a good time to evaluate if you are ready for a dating relationship. Being responsible for someone’s heart requires maturity and if you are not able to have clear, good communication, then you may not be ready for the dating relationship you are seeking.
Also, if you are thinking about asking a friend to ask him, that is a good indicator you are not ready for the responsibilities that come with a relationship. Being able to communicate openly is key to any successful relationship.
Don’t freak out. This would be my last bit of advice. Be careful not to scare him off by allowing your “crush” to control how you interact or approach him. Don’t stalk him on Facebook. Don’t text him 10 times a day. It is ok to be open to a relationship and even seek out opportunities for you to spend time with him, but don’t push it. You have made the first move, now see what he does; it is like playing checkers or chess. You move, he moves. If you move too quick it could be a bad decision and you will just get hurt or if you move out of turn it will not work out.
